This novella is also available for download in PDF format, or on Goodreads’ M/M Romance group. It is also available as part of Don’t Read in the Closet: GayRomLit edition. You can also get it on All Romance Ebooks.

© Copyright 2011 Lydia Nyx

 

Cooper Holt walked cautiously into the cavernous darkness of the barn. The cool air held the woody smell of hay even though the barn was nearly empty so late in spring.

“Blake?” he called out. His voice sounded small in the echoing space.

He heard nothing but the distant sound of cattle bleating and the clank of machinery. The herd was restless and the ranch hands were out early. Cooper could tell the shape of the day by how the morning came: in deep winter thick clouds and heavy darkness signaled a blizzard on the horizon; in summer a low sky foretold a storm rolling in that would put a halt to haying. He could also tell what the night had been like by the sounds on the ranch, so familiar if even one was out of place his ears picked it up. Something violent had happened last night.

A faint shuffling sound to his left made him whirl around.

“Blake?”

A soft moan.

He hurried toward the sound. “Blake?” he called out louder. “It’s me, Coop. Where you at?”

Another moan, followed by more shuffling. Cooper spotted a bulky shape on the floor.

“Goddamn,” Cooper said, and rushed over. He knelt. “You okay Blake? I’m sorry, I fell asleep. Shit Blake, tell me you’re all right!”

Blake was just a shadow, but Cooper could smell him—sweat and dirt and a sickly copper scent. Blood.

“I’m all right,” Blake said, his voice rough. “Healing’s taking a little longer this time since I got so messed up, but I’ll be fine.”

Cooper tried to check him over with his hands. He felt the slickness of sweat and the unmistakable gooey thickness of congealed blood.

“What happened?” Cooper asked.

“I came on another wolf and thought I could take him. Big bastard.”

Cooper huffed. “You know wolves are territorial, Blake Ripley! You can’t go sniffing around their areas, or chasing after them picking fights.”

“I know. But when it takes over, all rational thought goes straight out of my head.” Cooper flinched when he felt Blake’s hand glide over the denim encasing his thigh. “That’s why I tell you to keep this on you.” He was referring to the 45 Colt pistol slung across Cooper’s hip.

Cooper just flushed under his collar and continued trying to assess his friend’s physical state by touch, making sure no bones were sticking out. “We gotta get you up to the house,” he said. “It’s still dark enough we can make it without anyone seeing us, but we have to go now.”

Getting Blake on his feet wasn’t an easy task, as he had a good fifty pounds on Cooper. Outside in the faint, early morning light, Cooper saw Blake’s body—a beefy mass of thick, coiled muscle and taut, sun-darkened skin—was covered in dirt and streaked with blood. Blake was tall, broad, and sculpted by days of hard ranch work. He might have been intimidating if Cooper didn’t know what a good heart beat in his chest.

The world was still soft and blue and though the air was warm, the June heat wasn’t yet oppressive like it would be later in the day. Cooper was used to getting up at the crack of dawn. He’d been ranch handing since the age of fifteen and worked on his uncle’s ranch in unofficial capacity before that. His mother, God rest her, once joked he’d been born on the back of a horse, which according to his father was nearly true. Waking up to the first gold and pink light streaking the vast Montana sky was something he’d seen so many times he wasn’t even awed.

What did awe him was discovering there were a multitude of mysteries in the world he hadn’t imagined before, and somehow, he’d gotten to be the keeper of one.

Cooper snuck them in the back door of the house and up the kitchen stairs. They tried to be quiet but kept bumping against the walls, as Blake was still unsteady. Just as they were about to get through the door of Blake’s bedroom, a female voice called out from down the hallway.

“That you, Blake? You up already?”

Blake, leaning so heavy against Cooper they were pressed against the door frame, widened his dark eyes at Cooper. Blake’s grandmother.

Cooper cleared his throat. “No ma’am, it’s me, Coop. Just getting ready to head out.”

“I’ll be down shortly to start breakfast,” she said. “Don’t leave out just yet.”

“All right,” Cooper called back.

When he heard her door close Cooper hustled Blake the rest of the way into his room.

Blake sunk onto the bed with a groan and Cooper went to grab a basin and rag from the connecting bathroom. When he came back he plunked the basin on the stand next to the bed and turned on the lamp. Blake winced, holding a hand up to shield his eyes. The first aid kit was under the bed, but Cooper didn’t get it out just yet. He wanted to know what he was dealing with first.

“We gotta start penning you up or something,” Cooper said. “If you can’t keep your snout out of where it don’t belong, someone has to start watching you. And I don’t want you getting lost out there, either.” Full Moon Ranch boasted slightly over four thousand acres, which was a lot of room to lose something in, be it man or beast. The town of Ennis, the closest civilization, was almost twenty miles away. That left a lot of room beyond their fences to get lost in too.

“That ain’t practical,” Blake said and lowered his hand. “You’re the only one who knows. How you gonna pen me up? Where you gonna pen me up?”

Cooper didn’t answer. He knew how silly the idea was. He wrung out the rag and started carefully washing the dirt and blood from Blake’s skin. Cooper had seen Blake nude plenty of times, so him sprawled out on the bed stark naked in all his finely-hewn male perfection didn’t faze Cooper a bit. Well—maybe a little, but for different reasons. He kept his gaze focused and concentrated on the wounds, cleaning them out. Blake hissed and grunted and gritted his teeth, but didn’t pull away.

“It chewed you up good, didn’t it?” Cooper asked, examining what looked to have been a nasty bite mark on his bicep. The wound was nearly healed now, the skin bright pink and smooth. He examined the rest of his arm. Despite Blake’s ability to heal once he changed back into a human, scar tissue from the injuries remained. “Good thing you got this healing ability,” Cooper said.

“I’m afraid one of these nights I’m gonna bleed to death before I change back, though.”

Cooper dunked his rag again. The water was already murky brown. “You oughta try to find somebody who can help you.”

“Help me? Who’s gonna help me?”

“There has to be somebody out there.” Cooper started on his chest, wiping off dirt. Blake had very little chest hair, just a dark patch in the middle that got thicker as it shot down in a line to his narrow, flat stomach. Lower than that Cooper was careful not to notice, though he glanced every now and then.

“There has to be others like you,” Cooper said. “Can’t be the only one.”

“I been like this all these years, haven’t come across another one like me or anyone who knew what it was. Except that night, the night my Dad…” he trailed off. Blake’s father died the night Blake was changed into what he was. Not because of Blake, thankfully.

“You haven’t exactly asked anyone, either,” Cooper said. “There has to be at least one more out there, or you wouldn’t be like this.”

Cooper leaned across Blake’s body to get his other arm. As he worked, he felt the weight of Blake’s stare on the side of his face and glanced down at him. He had a look in his eyes as if he were trying to figure something out.

“What?” Cooper asked.

“Just wondering something.”

“Wondering what?”

“Why you keep doing this for me.”

Cooper turned his attention to Blake’s long, thick fingers and wiped the caked dirt from between them. “I’m the only one who knows. The only one who’s seen you transform.”

“And you didn’t run away.”

“Oh, I ran.” He laughed sharply. “Scared the piss right out of me.”

“But you stuck around. I expected you to be off the ranch by morning. That would have been the sensible thing.”

Cooper smiled and drew back. “Never had much sense. That’s why I been doing this job so many years.” He wrung out the rag, filthy water streaming out. “You better go shower the rest off. Doesn’t look like you need the first aid kit this time.”

Blake lifted his left arm, extending his fingers, and flexed them. “I seem to be healing faster. And better. I don’t feel all stiff like I usually do.” He turned his hand from back to palm, then over again, gazing at it.

“Sure seems that way. Maybe that’s how it goes.”

Blake looked up at him. Their eyes met, gazes locking and holding. Cooper’s chest tightened, filled with an urge he couldn’t name. Heat crept up his neck and into his face.

Blake looked away, rolling his head to the side, his hair wild and dark against the white pillowcase, full of little bits of hay.

“Yeah,” Blake said. “I better get washed up.”

Cooper turned away, looking down at the dirty rag twisted around his hands. “I’ll see you downstairs,” he said.

***

Cooper had been on the ranch long enough to have a room in the main house, though it wasn’t just seniority that put him there. However, if anyone asked he’d tell them that, because the real reason couldn’t be spoken and wouldn’t be believed.

In his bedroom he checked himself over in the mirror, making sure he wasn’t as disheveled as he felt and there wasn’t any blood on his clothes. He ran a hand through his collar-length brown hair, shaggy at the moment because he hated to sit still for a haircut. He kept it under a Stetson most of the day anyway, so he didn’t see the point. He needed a shave. No matter how often he shaved though, he always had stubble on his jaw and darkening his upper lip. He noticed Blake had the same problem and wondered with amusement if it was some kind of cowboy issue—too much testosterone and whatnot.

His similarities to Blake ended there, however. While he had a fair amount of muscle, he was leaner and more sinewy than Blake, a few inches shorter, and not as broad across the shoulders. His smaller frame made him a good candidate for wiggling into tight spots when a calf decided to be contrary or an obscure part of a barn needing patching up.

When he smelled coffee he headed downstairs with hat in hand and his pistol on his hip. Most of his work didn’t require him to pack, but they were moving cattle to a new pasture today and there were always scavengers bringing up the rear hoping for a quick meal.

The kitchen was homey and rustic, from the hardwood floor, to the brick walls, to the steepled ceiling with its exposed beams. There were four stoves, six in-wall ovens, and enough appliances to turn out meals for the entire ranch several times a day. A long wooden table big enough to seat sixteen people dominated the center of the room, and most of the chairs were already full. The ranch hands ate in turns, depending on their duties.

Blake sat at the head of the table, wolfing down his food. His plate was heaped full. He ate enough during the three days of his change to feed a barn full of horses. Cooper didn’t understand what the change did to Blake’s metabolism but it was oddly thrilling to see him in an almost primal form. He didn’t even look tired, despite being up all night.

Cooper nodded to Blake’s grandmother, Adele, as she brought a pot of coffee to the table. She was in her eighties but still sharp as a whip. She had once been a star roper, but her hips had gone out with age and she couldn’t get on a horse now. Instead she commanded the kitchen staff the way she must have once cut pairs, with no-nonsense and confidence.

“Ma’am,” Cooper said to her, pulling out a chair.

“Better get something fast,” she said, casting her grandson a look. “Before Blake eats us out of house and home.”

Blake grunted and refilled his coffee cup.

Cooper ate quickly as well. Breakfast wasn’t a meal to savor because there was always work to get started. Eating slow came later, while trying to draw out a lunch break to let your bones rest, or during dinner when you could actually relax.

After breakfast they headed out to the pens. Cooper followed behind Blake and found his gaze locked on him, taking in the swaggering form he made. He was encased in tight denim from neck to boot, his black Stetson perched atop his head. Cooper made himself look away, squinting toward the north pasture where they’d be taking the cows, trying to pretend his mind was on his work.

“You all right?” Cooper asked him while they saddled up in the barn. “Everything back to normal?”

“I’m fine,” Blake said. “Right as rain.”

They had cut the cow and calf pairs the day before so the ones they were moving were in their own fence. They had to be careful to keep pairs together, because losing even one calf to starvation was losing money. People like Blake and Cooper who had been working on a ranch all their lives could do the cutting by sight and sense, watching cow and calf interaction. Newer hands used the tags on the ears. Some who came out to experience the ‘romantic cowboy lifestyle’ couldn’t even do that effectively, and Cooper was irritated ranch handing had become a tourist attraction. Blake didn’t want tourists on the ranch, even if it brought in money. His grandpa, on the other hand, felt differently.

Blake’s grandpa, Mack, was a weathered old man, but still rode high in his saddle. Mack had taken Cooper under his wing when Cooper’s uncle had to sell his ranch six years prior and most of the staff was turned out. Cooper had a soft spot for the old man, even if like Blake, he didn’t agree with Mack opening up the ranch to visitors. Mack was a business man, and he had to get by in a tough economy where more and more people were losing their ranches. Cooper could grudgingly see his point.

But it was hard to lose the old ways.

They began rounding up the cattle, riding in pairs across the field and keeping in sight of each other so every inch of ground would be canvassed. Cows could hide in the damndest places.

Cooper was paired up with a man named Dalton Vine. Dalton was what Cooper considered ‘green.’ He was in his early twenties, had only been on ranches a few years, and came to work at the Full Moon the previous winter. He was a nice enough kid, tall and wiry, with cropped blond hair and darkly tanned skin. He seemed eager to learn and was a good listener. However, there was something about him Cooper couldn’t quite put his finger on and it made him uneasy.

As they shooed the last of the cattle toward the main herd, Dalton rode up beside Cooper.

“Hey, Blake all right?” Dalton asked. “I know you two are friends. Thought you’d be the man to ask.”

Cooper squinted at him. “Why you ask that?”

“I saw him outside last night, right after dark. He looked awful anxious and took off before I could talk to him. Thought something might be wrong.”

Cooper had to stifle a panicked reaction. He looked straight ahead while scrambling for an answer.

“Yeah, he’s all right,” he said casually. “Far as I know, anyway. You know Blake, he gets in moods.”

They rode up to the herd and Cooper glanced over at Dalton. Dalton had his eyes narrowed and looked like he didn’t believe him. Cooper quickly moved on ahead of him.

Cooper was good at moving cattle. He had a well-broken gelding and he understood the relationship between a man and his horse, the subtle way they manipulated and directed each other. The horse was just as smart as any of the men were.

The operation was delicate, especially at first, urging the cattle slowly through the gate in a narrow stream like a running creek that would eventually flow into a river. Beyond the gate, concentration was the key. They had to pass two ponds, go through the river bottom, and cross several benches of land with both timber and brush. Cattle were drawn to all these things. Cooper and several others, along with the dogs, had to make sure they kept moving in the direction they wanted; though any man who had been on a ranch any amount of time would tell you cattle pretty much went where they damn well pleased, you just had to follow them.

The less experienced hands were instructed to ride out wide and keep a watch for bunch-quitters and guide them back into the flow. They also looked out for downed fences, scavengers, and magpies—indicating a carcass that could turn into a distraction.

When they got to the river bottom, the herd was flowing smoothly and Cooper could relax a bit, let the horse take over and just keep an eye out for sick or lame cows. Blake was too far ahead to see, but Cooper’s thoughts went to him.

He was nervous Dalton had seen Blake right before his change. The transformation was strange, swift and unnatural. When Cooper had accidentally seen it happen a year ago on a balmy summer night, he thought he was drugged or dreaming. Blake thankfully had enough control to run off instead of tearing Cooper apart with his huge, razor-sharp fangs.

Blake had told him, frightened and ashamed the next morning, if his grandma and grandpa found out they’d be terrified. Other people on the ranch might try to kill him. Cooper might have shot him out of sheer terror himself, if he’d had his pistol on him that night.

He remembered Blake’s eyes that morning, full of sorrow. He was vulnerable, distraught. Then and there Cooper vowed he’d keep his secret and make sure no one else found out.

By noon they had the cattle in the new pasture. The grass was green and full there. Putting cattle out to good pasture in the summer meant no more daily feeding and watering and more time for other things like fence work, irrigation, and haying; also, preparing for the fall sale and getting the ranch ready to do it all over again through the winter and spring. Summer was the ‘easy time,’ if there was such a thing on a ranch.

Once the cows were in the fence, they tied up the horses and spread out on a nice piece of grass for lunch. People from the house rode out with food packed up by Adele. Cooper settled down in a patch of shade. The whole world was green and rank with the scent of grass and the heady odor of animals. The sun was bright. Everyone was talking and laughing, basking in the glow of a job well done, while the dogs chased each other around. It was hard to imagine there were any horrors lurking just beyond the fall of night.

Blake joined Cooper in the shade and dug into his lunch bag.

“Starving,” he growled. “Damn hungry work today.”

“Yep.” Cooper took a bite from his sandwich.

“Where were you leading them cows down in the bottom, Blake?” One of the hands, a woman named Sam, chided Blake as she plopped down on a blanket next to her horse. “Straight into the river?”

“They were leading me into the river,” Blake answered, tearing open the foil on his own sandwich. “Think they were trying to drown me.”

“I thought they were herding you for a minute,” Sam replied. Laughter went up

“You best hush up,” Blake told her. “I saw you pulling leather back there.” More laughter. ‘Pulling leather’ meant a hand had to grab onto their saddle to steady themselves. It was considered the sign of an amateur.

“Only time you seen me pulling leather, Blake,” Sam said, “was when I was saddling up your unruly horse.”

More good-natured ribbing went on as they ate. Mack, sitting on a stump, just shook his head at them.

Cooper covertly passed Blake some of his food. He wouldn’t be doing anything too strenuous the rest of the day and he could spare it. Blake gave him a brief, grateful glance, and then looked away.

The ride back, sans cattle, was utilized for inspecting fences and pipes, noting areas of weeds needing sprayed, and scouting for carcasses in the brush. Wolves and coyotes were bad enough without leaving something juicy out to lure them in. Cooper couldn’t help but wonder, as they dragged a stinking civet-cat out of a hedgerow, if Blake ever snacked on such things in his other form. The idea made his stomach turn.

“I know I said this before,” Cooper told Blake, while they were off their horses inspecting a ditch, “but that boy don’t sit right with me. He’s strange.”

Dalton was a way up the ditch, checking a pipe. He’d been watching them all afternoon, Cooper had seen him.

Blake squinted in Dalton’s direction. “He’s just young. He’ll get his feet.”

“It ain’t just that.” Cooper kept his voice down. “He gives me an odd feeling. And he asked me about you. Said he saw you last night after dark and you were acting strange.”

“Yeah, I ran into him out by the horse barn. Don’t know what he was doing out there, but I got away easy enough. Wasn’t changing yet.” He knelt down.

“But what if you had been? You gotta be careful.” Cooper knelt beside him. Leaning toward him, he murmured, “I’m gonna be watching tonight. I’m not gonna sleep.”

Blake sighed. “You can’t do that to yourself, Coop. There’s the start of haying tomorrow, you’ll be dead tired.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m worried about you, the way you been getting yourself tangled up with other animals. I’m gonna sit out and listen. If you get yourself into anything I’ll be right there.”

“I told you, you have to stay away from me while I’m changed. I don’t know what I might do to you. I don’t know if I can control myself.”

“And I don’t know what I’d do if something killed you.”

Blake looked at him. They were nearly shoulder-to-shoulder, and under the brim of his hat Blake’s eyes were dark and deep. Cooper looked down, feeling heat creep over him that had nothing to do with the sun.

“I mean, what your grandma and grandpa would do,” Cooper said. “I don’t want them to find your body out in a pasture.”

Blake was silent. Cooper didn’t move, though he thought he should.

“Maybe you’re right,” Blake said. “I gotta find someone who can help me, someone who knows what this is. Someone has to know about it besides us.”

Dalton was walking toward them. They both rose. “Pipe looks good down there,” Dalton said.

Blake nodded and looked out over the surrounding field. “Expect there ain’t much more to see out here. We best turn for the house.”

They were back well before sunset, but Blake grew restless as the afternoon waned. They had to inspect all the haying equipment and Cooper noted the tension in Blake’s every movement, the way his temper shortened, and how he finally withdrew from interacting with the others altogether. His stride seemed smoother and wider, his gaze sharper. Cooper swore if he drew back his lips he would see fangs starting to extend there.

Blake ate fast and heartily at dinner, and told Adele he was turning in early to get a good rest. Cooper tried to eat equally fast so he could leave the table at the same time. Blake was up and out of the room before Cooper got halfway through his meal however, and he couldn’t chase after him and look suspicious, so he slowed down.

Dalton left the table the same time as Cooper did, and from Cooper’s bedroom window he watched him cross the lawn toward the bunkhouse. The hands wouldn’t bunk down for a while, and they usually stayed around the main house to have a few beers, watch movies, and socialize. Cooper found it strange Dalton was taking off, but he didn’t have time to watch him. He had more important things to do.

Blake wasn’t in his room, but the window was open. Cooper stuck his head out just in time to see him reach the ground below, having worked his way down the trellis next to the window.

“Blake!” Cooper whispered loudly.

Blake looked up. In the gathering shadows his eyes flashed. The moon was already climbing into the sky, silvery and bloated.

“Wait,” Cooper said. “I’m coming down.”

Cooper withdrew from the window and raced back to his room. He grabbed his pistol and tucked it into his belt. He would have to go down the back way and out the kitchen door so no one would see him. He hoped Blake was still around when he got out there.

He managed to get outside without running into anyone and circled around to where Blake’s window was, above the flower garden. To his relief, Blake was still out there, pacing restlessly and running his hands through his hair. He stopped, stock still, and stared at Cooper as he approached, like a wild animal sensing danger.

“Try to stay near the house tonight,” Cooper told him. “I’m gonna go out by the barn where I found you this morning. If I hear anything I’ll come find you with my pistol.”

“Don’t put yourself in danger,” Blake said. His voice was lower and gruffer than normal. “I don’t want you alone out there in the dark, where anything could happen to you.” He looked away. “Where I could happen to you.”

“I ain’t afraid. Except for you.”

Blake looked back at him. His eyes shone, reflecting the moonlight. His hair was rumpled and sweat glistened in the hollow of his throat. On the warm night breeze Cooper could smell him, a strange scent, both human and animal.

“I’m telling you to stay in the house tonight,” Blake said. “That’s an order.”

Cooper snorted. “Since when do you give me orders?”

Cooper wasn’t prepared for what happened next. Blake grabbed him up by his shirt, and with a growl, and terrifying strength, lifted him off his feet and spun him around. Cooper gasped as his back hit the wall of the house. Blake got in his face, an energy radiating off him that crawled over Cooper’s skin, under his clothes, with the intensity of summer heat. He tried to push Blake away but found him too strong to heave off.

“Get off me!” Cooper said. “Blake, you ain’t yourself right now.”

“You stay in the house tonight,” Blake snarled in his face. “Do as I say!”

Cooper tried to push him away again. Blake’s body was hot, his shirt damp with sweat. Then he suddenly backed off and stumbled away, but not because of Cooper. He looked alarmed, frightened, and Cooper sensed the change was coming.

“I’ll make sure nothing happens to you,” Cooper said, back still against the wall. “Go!”

Blake turned away. He tore his shirt open and ripped it off. Cooper watched with breath held as Blake’s muscles rippled in the moonlight, the curve of his back flowing down to his hips like something an artist would create. Cooper only had a moment to admire his form before Blake dropped his shirt and ran off across the garden. In a twinkling he was gone, leaving Cooper with just the sound of his own pounding heart and the distant, muffled murmur of voices from inside the house.

Cooper shoved himself away from the wall. He walked over and grabbed up Blake’s shirt and stared into the night. He waited for a great, gray wolf to burst out of the shadows, but he knew Blake would be running now, getting as far away from him as possible.

He looked down at the shirt in his hand. Blake had ripped the fabric, torn off the buttons. Cooper balled it up, looking back out into the night.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered. “I’ll look out for you.”

CHAPTER TWO

Keeping watch by the hay storage barn was safe. No one had reason to go out there in the middle of the night, and even if they did, the area was open enough Cooper would see, if not hear, them coming. Everyone would assume he was asleep in his room, and barring something catastrophic happening, they had no reason to go in there and find out otherwise.

He took several items with him for his watch: a blanket, a flashlight, some water, his pistol, and his cell phone. If worse came to worst, he could call for help.

He spread the blanket out in the soft grass next to the barn and stretched out on it, using the pack he’d brought everything in as a pillow. He still had Blake’s shirt, balled up in the pack, but he didn’t know his reasoning for keeping it. Maybe he’d give it back to him in the morning. Maybe he didn’t want him to lose it.

Stretched out, hands behind his head, Cooper gazed up at the sky, full of stars and soft blue with moonlight. Under the Montana sky a million stars were visible on a clear summer night. Combined with the warm wind rustling the grass and the distant sound of lowing cattle—and even the sound of the river down in the bottom if he listened hard enough—Cooper couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else in the world.

Except, maybe wherever Blake was.

He kept his ears open, taking in the sounds of the night. None of them were unusual. In the tree line at the bottom of the ridge behind the barn, he heard rustling and occasional calls and chirps—night birds, foxes, the yapping of coyotes. He tried not to consider what might happen if Blake came upon a black bear, or worse, a mountain lion.

At one point he thought he heard rustling in the grass nearby, like something moving swiftly past the corner of the barn, but when he swiveled to look nothing was there. He settled back down and gazed up at the sky.

As he lay there, his mind drifted to things he’d learned about Blake over the past year, things Blake had told him about his metamorphosis. Cooper remembered the conversation they had the morning after he’d seen him change for the first time.

Blake and his father were driving back from Ennis one night in early December, when Blake was sixteen, and they’d run into heavy snow. The truck slid off the road and into a ravine, rolling it over. Cooper recalled Blake’s soft, haunted words:

“My dad was dead. I was spread out on the snow, half broken. When I opened my eyes I saw a huge wolf hovering over me. I thought it was a dream. There was blood everywhere, all over the snow.”

Blake said he’d been in so much pain he hadn’t realized at first the wolf had bitten him, leaving a ragged hole in his upper arm. A neighbor came along and saw them in the ravine shortly after, saving him from bleeding to death along with his father.

“That wolf stayed by me until help came,” Blake said. “Then it ran off into the night. Don’t know why it didn’t finish me off and make a meal of me. Don’t know why it bit me to begin with, since wolves don’t generally act like that. Maybe it was starving. Maybe the truck crushed its mate. I’ll never know.”

Blake was orphaned, since like Cooper, his mother died when he was young. Adele and Mack took custody of him, Blake the youngest of three brothers, one in the military and the other a ranger at Yellowstone. Blake just had the ranch in his future, and a curse.

“I changed every full moon after that,” he told Cooper in a hushed tone. “I didn’t know why, but I knew it would happen, knew what was inside me as if it had always been there. I couldn’t fight it. I couldn’t tell anyone either, I knew I had to hide it. And it’s never been easy.”

Cooper closed his eyes and pictured what it must have been like that night: the falling snow, the blood, and the great wolf hovering over Blake’s broken body like a demon in the wintry night, dark magic looking for an outlet. Blake said he didn’t know if the wolf was like him, or just a wolf, and having bitten him at just the right time turned him into what he was. Cooper wondered about it too.

He must have fallen asleep pondering it, because the next thing he knew he jerked awake to the sound of vicious snarling. He sat up, heart hammering, and fumbled for his pistol, all the while cursing himself for dozing off.

A fight was going on in the tree line, evidenced by the crack of branches and violent ruffling in the underbrush. Cooper hoped it was just coyotes, but something inside him knew better.

He quickly got to his feet, pistol in hand. He wouldn’t shoot at anything unless it became absolutely, positively essential to his continued survival, and then he’d only shoot to wound. He could never forgive himself if he mortally wounded Blake in a panic.

Cooper walked swiftly toward the tree line. The moon had slid down in the sky and the shadows of the trees were long across the grass. The sounds were enough to make a man tuck tail and run, but he forced himself to go forward, gripping the butt of the pistol and trying to decide his next move.

As it turned out, the next move was chosen for him. A large, bright form streaked out of the trees and across the grass toward him. He knew from the shape it was a wolf—a big, white wolf. Before he could react, another form shot out of the brush and leapt onto its back. This one was darker, but also clearly a wolf.

Cooper backed off as the two began to struggle wildly, snarling, jaws snapping, claws flashing. The dark wolf was Blake, he knew it, knew his form, though he’d only seen it once. The white wolf was bigger and more vicious. It lunged at wolf-Blake’s throat, latched on, and Blake yelped as they both tumbled across the grass and into the moonlight.

Cooper lifted his pistol. “You there! Yah! Get out of here!”

His voice distracted them. The bigger wolf let off and wheeled around on Cooper. He leveled his sight on it, though his aim would be faulty in the dark. The darker wolf, still whining, rolled away.

The big wolf was locked on Cooper. The animal snarled low and warningly, baring glistening fangs. Ducking its head in predatory fashion, it slunk toward him. Cooper forced himself not to move lest it lunge.

“Go on, get out of here,” Cooper said, finger on the trigger. “Go on now!”

The wolf responded with a snarl and advanced on him.

Cooper lowered the barrel and fired. The crack was loud in the peaceful night. The bullet went into the ground in front of the wolf, sending up a shower of dirt, and the wolf yelped, turned, and fled.

The smaller wolf had gotten to its feet, and though it lurched at the sound as well, it didn’t run off. Instead it stared at Cooper.

He lowered the pistol to his side. “I know it’s you, Blake. I know. Go on and run.”

The wolf inched toward him. Cooper noted dark patches on its fur, all around the neck. It was bleeding.

“Blake,” Cooper said, anguished, knowing there was nothing he could do for him at the moment. “Goddamn it.”

The wolf emitted a low growl, ducking its head. Cooper clutched the pistol but didn’t raise it.

“It’s me, Cooper,” he said. “You know me. Don’t do this. Don’t make me have to fire at you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

The wolf panted, eyes gleaming, fangs bared, but didn’t advance any further. Cooper swallowed and tried to breathe evenly, every muscle tense.

“Go on,” Cooper said. “Go off and lick your wounds, and come to the barn when you change.”

The wolf lowered its head further. Then, as if the part that was Blake had somehow taken control, it turned away, tail drooping in acquiescence. After one look back, it loped off into the night.

Cooper drew a shaky breath. He watched until the wolf disappeared into the shadows of the trees.

He had no idea where the other wolf was, or if it might come back for another round. He turned and hurried toward the barn, intending to spend the rest of the night inside.

In the safety of the barn, he spread his blanket out on a couple of bales in a corner and stretched out on his side, heart still thudding, listening. He prayed Blake wouldn’t bleed to death. Of course the fool had to go pick a fight with the biggest, meanest bastard he could find.

Cooper lay staring into the darkness of the barn, thoughts racing, nerves on edge. After a while he heard voices outside, not far off. He wasn’t surprised. When someone was firing shots in the night other people were going to wonder what the hell was going on. He didn’t reveal himself though, just curled up in a ball and hoped they wouldn’t come across Blake. Eventually, he opened up his pack and pulled out Blake’s shirt. He needed to touch it and smell his scent on it, to be reassured there was something human about him. He balled it up under his head and buried his face in it.

He awoke the same way, with a low, angry voice in his ear.

“You coulda been killed, you fool.”

Cooper tried to turn over but he was pinned down by a heavy, very hot, very sweaty, naked body. Blake’s naked body.

“Are you all right?” was all Cooper could think to ask. “You were bleeding and I was worried, the way that big wolf attacked—”

He was flipped onto his back, so quick he couldn’t think. Outside it was pre-dawn and the barn was still dark, so Blake was just a looming shadow above him. Cooper felt his hands come down on his shoulders and push them into the hay beneath him. He could feel the whole long, weighty length of Blake’s body holding him down, trapping his legs, pushing against his hips.

“I told you not to come out here,” Blake snarled, so close to his face Cooper felt his breath. It smelled bad, rank. He turned his face away, grimacing. “You could have died. That wolf could have attacked you. I could have attacked you!”

“You could have died too!” Cooper said. “Goddamn it, if I hadn’t come along that beast might have torn your throat out. It was bigger than you!”

Blake didn’t speak, breathing heavy, his chest moving against Cooper’s chest.

Cooper squirmed, trying to push against his grip. “Let me take care of you. Blake, I need to see your wounds, see if you need attention.”

“I can’t…I can’t do this…” He slumped against Cooper’s body, dropping his head beside his, and murmured close to his ear, “I can’t live like this no more.” He was winding down, his energy draining out, the thing inside him leaving him for another month, leaving him a shell in its wake. Cooper had seen it over and over again.

“Blake,” he said gently, and struggled to get out of his grip again, enough to put his hands on the slick, twin swells of his shoulder blades. “Come on. Let me get you to the house. I need to see if you’re all right.”

“I gotta find a reason for this.” He was still mumbling. “Gotta do something about it, find some help.”

Cooper pressed up against him, trying to push him off. He realized he could feel all of him, every inch, even the intimate parts. Blake’s cock was erect, a long, hard line against Cooper’s thigh. Cooper told himself it was just the power, just the aftermath of the change. He wanted to wrap his arms completely around him, wrap his legs around him, enfold him and protect him.

Instead he tightened his grip on his shoulder blades and whispered, “Blake.”

“I know,” Blake murmured back. “We ought to get to the house.”

Cooper wrapped him in the blanket and guided him to the house. As the morning before, they went in the back door and up to Blake’s room as swiftly and quietly as they could.

Blake had bite wounds on his neck and chest, but he’d already started to heal. He was covered in blood though and Cooper hurried to get water to clean him up with.

“I’ll tell them you ain’t well,” Cooper said as he washed him. Blake seemed half asleep, eyelids drooping, and Cooper didn’t know if he was listening. “You need to rest.”

Cooper started tending the wounds and was amazed to see they were literally healing right before his eyes, closing up and smoothing over.

“It’s happening faster now,” Cooper said, more to himself than Blake. “It’s like you’re getting stronger.”

“I want you to stay here with me until I fall asleep.” Blake reached out and gripped Cooper’s wrist. “Coop.”

“I’m here.” He put his other hand over his. “Don’t you worry.”

Cooper finished washing him and then got him into a shirt and a pair of shorts. Adele would no doubt be up to check on him, if Cooper said he wasn’t well. He made sure to clean the dirt off the floor and the spots of blood off the sheets.

“Don’t you worry about anything,” Cooper said, pulling a chair over next to the bed. He sat down and reached over to touch Blake’s arm.”I’ll look out for you.”

Blake was nearly asleep, eyes closed, but murmured something that might have been, “thank you.”

A few hours later, Cooper went downstairs. The breakfast table was already full. Mack was there, talking to everyone.

“I’m gonna find out who was shooting last night,” he said. “Wasn’t any need for anybody to be outside firing a gun. If you know anything, you better bring it to me today. I don’t want no funny business on my ranch.”

Everyone at the table looked somber and a little shame-faced. Cooper felt guilty. He didn’t want his coworkers taking the punishment for something he’d done, but he couldn’t exactly come forward.

Mack looked around at Cooper. “You hear anything last night, Coop? Around four a.m.? Someone firing a gun? I reckon it was a pistol by the sound.”

Cooper shook his head. “Can’t say I did. Of course, I slept like a log last night.”

Mack grunted. “I can’t sleep through the night, only reason I heard it. Went out looking, but we couldn’t find anything.”

“Huh,” Cooper said. He didn’t say anything further. If he started babbling, asking a bunch of questions, he might sound suspicious.

The hands went back to their meals, murmuring to each other, and Mack headed toward the door, stalking off like a man on a mission.

Adele put a hand on Cooper’s back. “Sit down,” she said, nudging him toward the table. “So you get in on the first round. Blake on his way down?”

“Actually ma’am, that’s what I came down to talk to you about. He ain’t feeling too well.”

Cooper gave her his carefully rehearsed spiel about catching Blake in the bathroom that morning upchucking, and how he’d sent him off to bed with the promise to bring something up to him. Adele fussed, starting putting something together for him, and told Cooper to tell him she’d be up soon to check on him.

“Hope it ain’t another damn flu bug,” she said as she handed Cooper a small plate of dry toast. Blake needed more to regain his strength, but Cooper couldn’t give away the ruse. Maybe he’d be able to sneak some of his breakfast up to him. “Last thing we need is a stomach bug tearing through here again like it did last winter,” she said. She gave Cooper a bottle of water and shooed him off. “Tell him I’ll be up. Put a sick bucket by the bed for him too, there’s buckets in the utility room.”

Cooper noticed Dalton, sitting at the table with his back to him, turn slightly and glance over his shoulder. Cooper pretended not to notice and left the room.

After breakfast Cooper went out on the long side porch of the house and plopped down in a chair. The sun had risen fully. He could hear the machinery being prepared for the start of haying. He knew all day he’d be out in the fields, working up a sweat under the blazing sun, and his body would drag after a night without sleep. He slumped down in the chair and pulled the brim of his hat down over his eyes, thinking a nap might be a good idea, even fifteen minutes. Then he heard the screen door open.

Dalton came out, a coffee mug in hand. Cooper tried not to look at him, but he sat down on the railing right in front of him.

“I saw you go outside last night,” Dalton said.

Cooper pushed his hat up, stomach clenching. “What’s that?”

“Last night, after dinner. You snuck out the back way and went out to the flower garden.”

“So?”

“So. You told everyone you were going to bed. What was that all about?”

Cooper sat up and forward in his chair. “Ain’t none of your business. Why are you always asking questions?”

“Well, I thought it was kind of odd, with someone being outside shooting last night.”

“I don’t know anything about that. I was sound asleep when it happened.”

“So what were you doing outside earlier?”

“I told you, it ain’t none of your business.” Cooper stood up.

Dalton looked up at him. Cooper hated the way he looked at him, the apprising gaze, the nosy demeanor.

“Blake really sick?” Dalton asked.

“Of course he is, what kind of damn question is that?”

“Just wondering.”

“Why the hell would you wonder?”

“Just a lot of odd things been going on lately, that’s all.”

“I don’t know nothing about it.” Cooper walked across the porch to the screen door, trying to mask his anxiousness with anger. “Stop pestering me!” He yanked open the door and went inside.

Cooper realized then and there he needed to convince Blake to do something about Dalton—get him off the ranch, or get him to keep his mouth shut.

CHAPTER THREE

When haying began, the days were long and so were the nights. Haying went on as long as there was light; make hay while the sun shines wasn’t just an adage, it was a steadfast rule. Baling took place at night, when it was cooler and the humidity was down. This wasn’t just for the workers, the difference in heat and moisture also produced firmer bales. Most of the hands, including Cooper, were working themselves to the bone around sixteen hours a day.

There wasn’t much time for socializing or having fun during this time. When the day was done, Cooper ate dinner and washed up quickly so he could collapse into bed directly after. There was nothing like a haying sleep—he slept the hardest and deepest he did all year, and only the Devil showing up and burning the place down could have woken him up.

However, the first week of July he started to worry like he always did. The moon was getting fatter in the sky. Summer was a difficult time for Blake’s change, since they did a lot of work at night.

Blake had been distant from him since the last cycle. Cooper could blame it partly on the work, but it wasn’t all that. Even at dinner Blake didn’t say much, and during breaks in the field he avoided him. Cooper couldn’t help feeling a little hurt.

Sometimes, before Cooper drifted off to sleep, he recalled Blake on top of him in the barn, the heat of his body and the vulnerability in his voice. The memory filled him with emotions he didn’t want to feel, so he stuffed them down as deep as he could. They kept trying to resurface every time Blake ignored him, or cut a conversation short, or wouldn’t meet his eyes across the table.

One afternoon, Sam spoke to Cooper after they finished loading hay into one of the barns. Cooper was leaning against a fence, mopping his face with a handkerchief.

“Blake don’t seem like himself lately,” she said. “I’m worried about him.”

“Oh yeah?” Cooper wadded up the handkerchief and jammed it into his shirt pocket. “He’s been kind of quiet lately, I guess. Must be focused on work.”

Sam frowned doubtfully. “I know you two are friends. I thought you might know why he’s been so withdrawn lately. I tried to talk to him a couple times, but he seems like he don’t want to.”

Cooper looked down and kicked at the dirt. “I don’t know. Maybe Mack’s been giving him a rough time.” He looked up and out over the hay fields. “Mack’s got ideas about how this place should be run when he’s gone. I know he puts a lot of pressure on Blake. It’s a lot for a man to take over.”

“I don’t know, but I miss the old, fun Blake. Seems he ain’t been that way in a long time.” She nodded toward the barn. “He’s down there now, looking stormy as hell. I tried to talk to him and he just told me to go back to the field. I’d be pissed, if I wasn’t so worried about him.”

Cooper looked toward the barn. “He by himself?”

She nodded. “Maybe you ought to try. See if you can get a word out of him.”

Cooper was reluctant. Part of him wanted to be angry and petulant and not give Blake so much as the time of day, but like Sam, he was too worried to be truly mad. He turned and headed down the slope to the barn.

Everyone had gone back to the field, so the barn was indeed empty—except for one person, huffing and grunting as he tossed bales onto a stack. Blake had his hat off and his denim shirt was soaked dark with sweat, all the way down his back from neck to waist. His sleeves were rolled up, muscles bulging as he lifted and tossed. His skin had gotten darker from the sun. Cooper stood a moment watching him, and then he cleared his throat.

Blake looked around, chest heaving. There was something dark in his gaze, something malevolent. Cooper had never seen him look so twisted, not even when he was about to change, and it scared him.

“You’re supposed to be out in the field,” Blake said, and turned back to the hay. “Still got a couple hours of daylight.”

“I’m going. But I thought I might have a word with you first.”

“Ain’t got nothing to say.”

Cooper strolled toward him. “I know, that’s the problem.” He lowered his voice. “I know your change is coming, and you get agitated, but this is different. I’m worried about you. You ain’t never been this quiet, especially with me.”

Blake turned around. The meanness in his gaze had intensified.

“I don’t want you concerning yourself with that no more.”

Cooper jerked his head back, startled. “What are you talking about?”

“You heard what I said.”

“I’m the only one who knows about it, the only one who can help you. I’m not going to abandon you.”

“I don’t want you messing with me no more. I want you to forget it happens.”

Cooper squawked out a laugh. “Yes, forget you turn into a wolf every full moon, easy!”

To Cooper’s surprise, Blake lunged at him and grabbed him by the shirt, then whirled him around and slammed him up against a stack of hay. The blow wasn’t very hard given the surface, but prickly straws poked through his shirt and made his sweaty skin itch and burn.

“Blake, what the hell!” Cooper said.

Blake brought his face close to his, so their hats bumped into each other.

“I said,” he growled in Cooper’s face, “you’re going to quit messing with me.”

“I ain’t messing with you! All I’ve done is help you, haven’t I?”

“You keep putting your life in danger and I can’t have that.” Blake shook him. “I can’t have what happened last time happening again!”

“I can take care of myself.” Cooper looked him in the eye. “I took care of myself that night.”

“You were damn lucky that night.”

“So were you! That other wolf could have torn you apart!”

He saw a shift in Blake’s expression. He was angry, but he wasn’t. There was something else fueling his rage: that sad, worn-out, confused vulnerability Cooper had seen before. Blake hated what was happening, but he couldn’t control it. Cooper wanted to help him, but he didn’t know how. He could only be there for him, and now Blake was trying to push him away and he felt even more helpless.

“Please, let me help you,” Cooper said. “It’s all I got, it’s all I can do. I can’t stand it sometimes, thinking about how much you’re suffering.”

Blake’s grip softened. His face softened too, more anguish coming forward. Their faces were still close, so close Cooper could feel Blake’s breath on him. Their bodies were closer yet, and even though the hay against his back was uncomfortable, Cooper didn’t try to move.

Then Blake did something Cooper wasn’t expecting, or maybe he had been. He closed those last few inches between them and their mouths came together in a hot, hard kiss. Cooper’s hat toppled off and fell to the barn floor, leaving him under the brim of Blake’s hat. Cooper responded to the kiss, opening his mouth, stunned at how soft and yet firm Blake’s lips were. The thought flashed through his mind he was the wolf’s prey, caught up in his jaws, and it wasn’t bad at all; it would be a lovely way to go, in fact.

Cooper brought his hands up and gripped Blake’s shirt as well, and pulled his body in tight against his, the whole long, solid line of him. The heat around them seemed to increase, the slick slide of sweat beneath Cooper’s shirt strangely exquisite. He felt hot inside and out, as if someone had turned the summer on inside him, or as if he’d swallowed it up and now it was radiating from every part of him. Blake’s mouth tasted like summer too, like salt and sweat and all the good things about the wide-open land and sky that Cooper loved so much.

All too soon, the kiss was broken and Blake reared back, gazing at him hazy-eyed. Cooper was breathing hard. For a moment they just stared at each other, still clutching each other’s shirts, and then Blake released him, pulled out of his grip, and turned away.

Cooper didn’t peel himself off the hay just yet. He reached up and touched his mouth. His lips were tingling.

“Blake…” he said.

Blake looked down, putting his hands on his hips. Cooper knelt and picked up his hat. As he rose, Blake managed to do something to surprise him even more.

“I want you to leave,” he said.

For a moment Cooper thought he misunderstood. He stepped away from the hay, putting his hat back on. “What? Leave the barn?”

Blake turned around. “The ranch,” he said.

Cooper stared at him. “The ranch?” He tried to figure it out, but his brain was still addled from the kiss. He wanted another one. He wanted to grab Blake, throw him against the nearest solid surface, and kiss all the air out of him. “You want me to leave the ranch during your change?”

Blake wiped his fingers across his mouth, ducking his head so his eyes were hidden beneath the brim of his hat. “I want you to leave the ranch for good.”

Cooper narrowed his eyes. “What the hell are you saying?”

Blake looked up at him. “You’re gonna leave the ranch. Get the hell off it, the hell away from me. Forever.”

Cooper still couldn’t grasp his words.

“I’m not leaving the ranch.”

“Yes you are.” Blake adjusted his hat, turned, and strode over to the hay bales. “You’re fired.”

“What!”

“You heard me.”

“You can’t fire me! I haven’t done anything to get fired!”

Blake didn’t look at him. “I’ll make sure Grandpa gives you a good recommendation. That way you can get work somewhere else.”

“That don’t make no sense! You’re gonna fire me but give me a good recommendation? You sound like a damn fool right now!”

Blake turned, but only part way, and shifted his jaw. “Then I’ll tell Grandpa you had to leave, some family thing.”

“You’re gonna throw me out,” Blake choked on the last word, “when the person you ought to be throwing out is Dalton, the way he’s been sneaking around, spying on us? I’ll keep your secret and help you. I’ve done nothing but protect you, and this is the thanks I get? You’re gonna fire me and kick me off the ranch?”

“I’m kicking you out because you’re an idiot.” Blake finally looked at him. His eyes were glittering. “Because you don’t have any common sense. I’m doing this for your own good.”

“You let me worry about myself! I don’t need you telling me how to take care of myself.”

“Yes you do. Get your things packed and get the hell out of here. This ranch is mine too, I can say who goes.”

“You aren’t being fair!”

“I’m being sensible.” He pointed toward the door. “Go now. Get out.”

“You can’t do this!”

“I can!” He turned and took a few steps toward him. “So help me God, if you don’t do as I say, I’ll make a production out of this. I’ll get Grandpa to throw you out, even if I have to lie.”

Cooper was even more hurt than he’d been before, than he’d been all month, bearing the brunt of Blake’s silence and cold shoulder.

“How can you do this?” Cooper asked. “For a year I been looking out for you, taking care of you, making sure you were safe and your secret was kept. And now you kiss me off and send me on my way? What kind of man are you?”

Blake looked down, his hat shielding his eyes again. He said in a strained voice, “I ain’t a man.”

Cooper fought to hold himself in place, to not go straight to him and put his arms around him. Everything in Blake’s attitude and pose told him to stay away. Some invisible shield was up and Cooper couldn’t penetrate it, not with all the kindness and understanding in the world. And maybe, hurt as Cooper was, he thought Blake didn’t deserve any of that right now anyway.

“Where the hell am I gonna go?” Cooper asked, voice rising. “You’re just gonna turn me out into the wild, where the hell am I supposed to live?”

“You can take a few days to find somewhere to go. But I want you out of here by this weekend.”

Cooper swallowed. His vision blurred and he blinked a few times to clear it. He lifted a hand and touched his fingertips to his lips, still feeling the kiss there. It felt like the kiss of Judas now.

“You’re a bastard,” Cooper said. But he wasn’t going to fight anymore. He turned and started toward the door, grief gripping him like a fever. He didn’t know what the hell to do, where to go, what to think.

He looked over his shoulder one last time as he went out the barn door. Blake was staring after him, his expression no longer angry, but reflecting the same emotion Cooper was feeling, stricken and pained. Cooper didn’t care.

He marched through the barnyard, fuming. Sam frowned worriedly as he passed her. Dalton was there too, leaning against a fence, and eyed him as he approached.

“Everything all right?” Dalton asked. “Heard some shouting.”

Cooper turned a glare on him as he passed. “You watch your ass boy,” he warned, then plodded on, fists clenched at his sides.

He marched out to the field, intending to finish the day’s work and then—he didn’t know. A small part of him hoped Blake would realize what a goddamn fool he was and change his mind, apologize to him.

But then, Cooper didn’t know if he could forgive him.

***

Cooper’s uncle lived in Ennis now and worked at a tractor supply store. His situation was a depressing reminder what money—or lack of—could do to a person, break them down and push them into a life they hated. His uncle was too depressed to work on someone else’s ranch after losing his own. Cooper rarely visited him, as it reminded him of his own unhappiness with the situation, but now it looked like he was going to have to stay with him until he found work on another ranch. He realized, however, he might not find anything until fall when calving started. Summers were relatively easy times and not as many hands were needed on most ranches.

Cooper concocted a story about a distant, terribly sick aunt on her death bed. Blake’s idea didn’t work though, as Mack told Cooper he would still have a job when he came back. This meant the door was open, and Cooper intended to walk back through it when enough time had passed for the story to seem genuine. Blake, standing off to the side for the conversation, couldn’t say a damn thing and Cooper felt he had a bit of vengeance.

Cooper packed his things, but not all of them, just enough to get him through a couple weeks. Adele told him his room would still be his when he got back.

While Cooper was loading up his truck in the barnyard, getting ready for his departure when he should have been out in the field haying, Blake came to see him. Cooper had intended to slip out quietly, without a goodbye. He was going to save the bells and whistles for his return.

Cooper glared at Blake over the bed of his truck as he secured a tie-down strap. “Come to give me a punch in the face?” he asked. “You might as well, you’ve punched my heart a good number of times.”

Blake didn’t look proud, or gloating, or angry. He looked tired and sad, and Cooper tried not to let it get to him.

“I wish you could understand,” Blake said.

“Oh, I understand.” Cooper jerked the strap, stepped back, and strolled around the truck. “I understand now, how you treat your friends.”

Blake turned to face him as he came around. “Cooper…”

“Don’t you give me no sorry lines. You’re putting me out of my home, out of my job. But don’t think you’re gonna have your way. Mack says I can come back, and I aim to. Couple weeks from now, when it all looks legit, I’ll be back on this ranch. And there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it.”

“Don’t come back. Cooper, I’m begging you.”

“You’re trying to ruin my future.”

“Yes, I am. In terrible ways, ways much worse than this. And I can’t let that happen. I couldn’t live with myself if I did something to you. If I hurt you—or even worse, killed you.”

“Blake, I been taking care of you this long and you haven’t hurt me yet. You don’t think I’m worried about you the same way? That you’re gonna get hurt or killed?”

Blake gazed at him.

“Without me here,” Cooper said, “there’s even more a chance that might happen. If I hadn’t been there with the gun—”

“You could’ve been killed by that wolf! If the shot hadn’t scared it away, it might have attacked you. And I was wounded, I couldn’t have fought it off you.”

“But none of that happened, now did it? You’re all scared about what might have been, but you don’t think about what is. Do you really want the only person who knows about you to go away forever?”

Blake gripped the brim of his hat and turned away.

“Yes, I do,” he said tightly.

Cooper glared at his back. After a moment of not knowing how to respond, he huffed, “Why’d you kiss me like that then, in the barn?”

Blake sighed.

“I know we can’t have anything more than this,” he said. “I just wanted to know for a second what it tasted like. And maybe that was selfish of me.” He glanced around at Cooper hesitantly.

Cooper’s heart raced and he felt the heat he’d felt that day, creeping up his neck and into his cheeks. He hadn’t forgotten how the kiss felt, how good it was to feel Blake’s body against his, knowing for once it wasn’t because he was wounded or suffering. Only he was, inside, all the time.

“Let me stay,” Cooper said. “Let me stay and we’ll figure this out. If you want, I’ll stay away during your change. I won’t go outside at night, or try to help you. Blake, I promise. I just want to be close to you and know that—”

“I know you won’t keep that promise,” Blake cut him off. “You say it now, but I know you. You’re too damn strong-willed.”

“Blake, I swear.”

“No,” he said sharply. “You’re gonna get the hell out of here.” He waved at the truck. “And you ain’t coming back.”

Cooper snarled. “We’ll just see about that!”

He marched around the truck to the driver side door. He yanked it open, seething, shaking with rage, and glared over at Blake one last time.

“After all I done for you,” he ground out, “this is the reward I get, you turning me out. It ain’t right Blake, it ain’t right at all!”

Blake stepped away from the truck. “After all you done for me,” he said, and his voice was strained, “the best reward I could give you is your life.”

Before Cooper could respond, Blake strode off across the barnyard, head down. Cooper watched him go, gut churning with so many emotions he couldn’t sort them out. He got in the truck and slammed the door. He didn’t start the engine right away though. He just sat with his hands on the wheel, watching Blake retreat.

“You’re a damn fool,” Cooper whispered. His vision blurred and his eyes burned. “But I’m not taking defeat, and I’m not letting you do this alone.”

He started up the truck and drove toward the main road. He wasn’t saying goodbye to the ranch as he went, because he would be seeing it again soon.

CHAPTER FOUR

Cooper wasn’t cut out for town life. There weren’t enough wide open spaces, too many cars, too much noise, and too many people. They all seemed friendly enough, but he wasn’t accustomed to socializing the way people in a large community did. The buildings all looked like they’d been carved out of the surrounding hills or imported from a Wild West town, and life was still rural and rugged, but it was nothing like living on a ranch.

Cooper’s uncle lived in a quiet area in a tiny house, barely big enough to hold him let alone another man. The inside was cluttered and the yard overgrown. He had two dogs, one he’d brought from the ranch, and they were rambunctious as hell, having no real purpose and room to run. Cooper slept on the couch and lived out of his truck.

The full moon would come at the end of the week, and instead of waiting a few weeks Cooper changed his mind and decided he’d be back on the ranch by then, even if he had to sneak on. Blake didn’t call him and Cooper didn’t really expect him to. Still, he had fantasies in which Blake called and apologized for his stupid behavior and begged him to come back. At night, stretched out on the couch and staring up at the darkened ceiling, he fantasized about the kiss in the barn and where it might have led under better circumstances.

He started to realize he hadn’t only been protecting Blake all this time out of a sense of sympathy and kindness. Certainly it was those things, but it was something else, too:

Cooper was in love with him.

The realization was painful, but only for a short time. Then the sadness morphed into something else, something more useful—determination.

The morning of the first night of the full moon, Cooper packed what few belongings he’d taken out of his truck back into it. His uncle was at work and he left him a note, saying he’d gone to find work. Then he drove to the edge of town, out where it was wide and wild and he could breathe the air better, and mentally prepared himself.

He planned to confront Blake when he was at his weakest, right before his change. The situation might turn into a fight, and Cooper might get hurt, but he was going to make Blake see how much he needed him. He wouldn’t let him go until he got it into his thick head they were better as a team, not apart. He’d cling on until he turned into a wolf and face the consequences, if it came to that.

Late in the afternoon, almost evening time, Cooper drove out to the ranch. There was a spot where he could park the truck, out of sight of the main road, and walk the rest of the way. He knew the ranch like the back of his hand, every sweet acre, and he knew where he could slip in without being seen.

After parking the truck he got his pistol from the back, loaded it, and strapped on. The gun was the only thing he was taking with him.

He started off into a wooded area, walking in the general direction of the upper west field. They didn’t take cattle there because the ground was too rocky, so the fences were the last on the list to be mended. After about twenty minutes he emerged from the trees and saw the fence line at the bottom of a short slope. He walked down and followed the fence until he found a break in the boards, then wedged his body through.

Crossing the west field was a lot easier than plowing through brush and ducking tree branches, but he was anxious out in the open someone would see him. The sky had gone deep blue and the shadows were long when he reached the other side of the field and made his way toward the horse barns. He had no idea where Blake might be; he could be at the house, or wrapping up haying, or already gone off somewhere to be alone. Finding him would require some spying and the clock was ticking away.

He didn’t hear any voices or see anyone at the horse barn, so he slipped along the side to the front.

As he turned the corner, he nearly ran smack into Sam.

They both yelped. Cooper took a step back, his stomach leaping into his throat.

“Coop!” she said, hand over her heart. “You gave me a hell of a shock. When did you get back?”

Cooper thought fast. “Just a bit ago. I came to talk to Blake about some important stuff. Have you seen him?”

He could tell by the consternation in her eyes something was wrong.

“He went off.” She gestured in the direction of the house. “I thought he was going up to the house, but I saw him veer off down to the cabins instead. He hasn’t been acting right, I’m really worried about him.”

“I’m worried about him too,” Cooper said. “That’s why I had to come back.”

“Is your aunt doing better?”

“Yeah, she took a good turn. That’s why I figured it was safe to come back. My family’s gonna keep in touch with me.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“I gotta find Blake though. I gotta talk to him.”

“I hope you can. Someone needs to talk to him. Lately saying anything to him is like poking a stick in a hornet’s nest. You’re just asking to get stung.”

Cooper tipped his hat to her and hurried off across the yard.

The cabins Sam referred to were three guest cabins a quarter mile from the main house and down by the river bottom. They were for housing guests when they had them, though they hadn’t been used yet this year due to Mack and Blake’s differing views on the matter.

When Cooper got down there, the cabins were dark and he didn’t see anyone around. He approached cautiously, watching and listening. The shadows were deepening. He figured Blake had about an hour, then the light would be gone completely and the moon would be fully up.

Cooper crept into the yard of one of the cabins and peeked in the windows. Maybe Blake hadn’t come down there after all. Cooper looked around, out into the hills and then toward the river. There was a lot of space, he could be anywhere.

He checked the second cabin, found it empty as well, and then went on to the third. He was starting to panic when he heard a sound and froze beneath one of the windows.

He swore he’d heard movement inside.

Cautiously, he peeked up over the bottom of the window. The interior of the cabin was dark, like the others. However, after a moment he heard the sound again—the distinct sound of heavy footsteps—and a dark shape passed by the window.

Cooper quickly ducked back down. He listened to the footsteps fade as they moved away from the window.

Heart racing, he crept to the back of the cabin where there was a sliding glass door. The door would be locked, he assumed, unless Blake had gone in that way and left it open. Quietly he went up to it, gripped the handle, and tugged.

To his relief, the door slid open.

He eased the door to the side, widening a gap just big enough to fit his body through, and slipped inside. He stepped into a small kitchen, shadowy and silent. They didn’t run electricity to the cabins when they weren’t in use, so there wasn’t even the sound of a refrigerator running. The air was cool and stagnant.

Cooper walked through the kitchen and into a small, sparsely furnished living room. This was the room he’d peeked into from outside. He didn’t see anyone, or hear any footsteps. The cabin had an upper floor and he wondered if Blake had gone upstairs; or maybe he’d slipped out the front door.

Neither of these things were the case, as a moment later, someone appeared from the hallway on the other side of the room.

“Blake?” Cooper asked, surprised by the sudden appearance.

Before he could get another word out, the figure was on him and jacking him up against the wall.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Blake snarled in his face, his hands fisted in the front of Cooper’s shirt.

Cooper gripped his wrists, struggling against him. This was the third time in a month he’d been slammed around by Blake and he wasn’t taking any more of it.

“I told you I was coming back!” Cooper said. “I can’t let you go through this alone. I won’t!”

Blake held him fast, keeping him pinned against the wall. He smelled like the hay fields and his natural, masculine odor, only intensified. The energy he gave off tingled across Cooper’s skin and made him shudder.

“You’re an idiot,” Blake said. “Coming back here this close to my change, chasing after me like this!”

“I’m not an idiot!” Cooper gave him a hard shove and managed to back him off. “I’m your friend. I care about you. You’re the idiot for sending me off and trying to do this on your own!”

“I did it for years without you.”

“But that’s just it.” Cooper pushed away from the wall and got in his face. “You don’t have to anymore!”

They were both breathing hard. Cooper could see Blake’s eyes, gleaming in the last light creeping through the windows. He saw the sweat glistening on his neck. He felt the weight of his energy, coiling around him like a sun-warmed snake.

“You can holler at me all you want,” Cooper said. “You can tell me to get out, you can say it’s for my own good. But I’m not leaving. I’ll make you see we belong together. I belong here, helping you. You said you had to get some help. Well, here it is!” He spread his arms out.

Blake was silent. Cooper decided it was time to lay it on the line.

“I love you,” Cooper said. His voice caught, but he cleared his throat and said it again, stronger. “I love you. I’ve come to love you over the time we’ve known each other. You’ve been a good friend to me, but it’s more than that. I don’t care we’re both men. I don’t care there’s something inside you that ain’t human. And you can try to send me off, but it ain’t gonna work.” He paused, trying to collecting himself, feeling like he was falling to pieces. “And the way you kissed me that day in the barn, I think you feel the same way. I think you don’t really want me to leave, you just think it’s the only thing you can do to keep me safe.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” Blake asked.

“Trust me.”

The words hung heavy between them. Cooper didn’t know what he’d do if Blake rejected him again, told him to go away. He might actually do it this time, and not come back.

Blake stepped toward him though, until they were inches apart and breathing the same air. Only, Cooper couldn’t really breathe. He could only hold the air in his lungs like a solid object and wait, teetering on the edge.

“You really want to be part of this?” Blake asked.

“I want to be part of you,” Cooper replied.

Blake grabbed his shirt again and backed him up against the wall. The gesture wasn’t angry this time, though—aggressive, yes, but not violent. The right kind of aggression, the kind that lifted Cooper’s heart and made his body awaken. Then Blake’s mouth was on his for the second time in their lives, hungry and demanding, and everything was right.

Cooper grabbed Blake’s shirt and ripped it open, the way Blake had ripped the buttons off that night in the garden, only this time Cooper got to touch what was exposed—the hard muscle and sleek flesh, so hot, so slick. He ran his hands all over him beneath the fabric. The denim clung to his back, stuck to the curve of his spine, and Cooper peeled it off, eager to touch every inch. He slid both hands down and gripped the thick leather of Blake’s belt just below his hipbones and tugged forward. He wanted it off. He wanted all Blake’s clothes off, and his own.

Cooper grunted as Blake broke the kiss, and then dragged his teeth across his jaw and down his neck as if looking for a place to sink them in. Cooper understood the dynamic—he was bare, vulnerable, dominated, at the mercy of something stronger than him.

“Blake,” he whispered. “I ain’t scared.”

“You should be,” Blake said against the curve of his throat. Then he gripped him by the belt and pulled.

They moved across the room, to the couch, and Cooper fell onto it gracelessly, Blake landing on top of him. Just like the morning in the barn only better, and worse, because this time Blake wasn’t naked. At least, not yet.

“I’m going to change soon,” Blake said, his voice rough and desperate. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then hurry, because I’m not letting you go until this happens.” Cooper was desperate too, enough he should have been ashamed of himself.

“You sure you want this?” Blake asked.

Cooper responded with a growl and grabbed Blake’s belt buckle. He undid it with several hard yanks. He wondered which one of them was the beast now.

Blake responded with his own growl and tore Cooper’s shirt open. Cooper didn’t even care it was one of his good ones and he’d have to sew the buttons back on. He didn’t care if Blake ripped it to shreds.

Blake leaned over and put the hot, wet flat of his tongue to Cooper’s skin and lapped the sweat from his collarbone. It was primal, being tasted like that, and Cooper groaned and threaded his fingers through Blake’s hair, grabbing on.

Blake started working on Cooper’s belt buckle as well, then the button and zip of his jeans. Cooper’s cock strained, wanting to spring out, wanting stimulation. Then Blake pushed his hand inside, deep into his underwear, and Cooper moaned as he grasped him with sure, powerful fingers.

“You been wanting this too?” Cooper asked, breathless, pushing up into the slick grip of Blake’s stroke. “This ain’t just the thing inside you?” He wanted to hear it, to know this wasn’t just some animal urge Blake would forget after he changed back.

“I think you know the answer to that,” Blake said, and captured Cooper’s lips in a bruising kiss.

Cooper kissed back and sucked at Blake’s invading tongue. His power made all the hairs on Cooper’s arms stand on end. The sensation was amazing, electric, erotic.

Blake pulled his hand out of Cooper’s pants, gripped him by the hips, and urged him—forced him, really—over onto his stomach. Cooper didn’t resist. He gripped the edge of the couch cushion and licked his lips, tingling and swollen, and tasted Blake’s mouth. Blake grabbed Cooper’s jeans and yanked them down over his ass, dragging his underwear with them.

Cooper wasn’t weak, not by a long shot, and he couldn’t imagine anyone but Blake being in control of him, even if he wasn’t in control of himself right now. But Cooper was thrilled to have Blake so dominant for once, taking care of him, in charge.

“Hurry,” Cooper implored him. He pressed his hips down against the couch, his cock feeling huge and aching, and it was all he could do not to grind against the fabric.

Blake was moving around behind him, getting his own jeans down. The he leaned over him and his breath fell hot and ragged across the back of Cooper’s neck, like a dangerous animal bearing down on him.

“I don’t have any protection,” Blake said. “Wasn’t exactly planning on this.”

“Don’t expect you’ve been doing too much messing around,” Cooper said. “I haven’t either.” I’ve been holding out for you went without saying.

Sweat and spit made a nice lube, and Cooper bit into his own wrist to stifle a yelp as Blake pushed a couple fingers into him. He tried to relax. The discomfort quickly turned to pleasure as Blake stretched him, rocking his fingers slowly at first, then faster and harder.

“Christ,” Cooper gasped out, and pressed his forehead to the couch. “Not too much of that, or it’ll be over before it starts.” He hadn’t messed around with a man in years. The experience was all so good and exciting and it was Blake, and he could barely stand the sensations.

Then Blake slipped his fingers out, leaving him empty and open, before the hot, blunt tip of his cock replaced them.

Cooper gasped and lifted his hips. He dug his teeth into his lip as Blake pushed in, slick and smooth and with a satisfied growl. Cooper tried to adjust to the feeling of invasion, bracing himself against the couch, and when Blake sunk in to the hilt he lost all his senses. He could only feel, and want.

“Oh God,” Cooper gasped. “Blake.”

They had no time to take things slow and easy. Blake started a fast, hard rhythm, grunting behind him, gripping Cooper’s hips with domineering hands. The sharp slap of wet flesh filled Cooper’s ears, made everything more heated and obscene. His jeans were around his knees and he could feel Blake’s thighs flexing against the backs of his.

Blake reached around and gathered his bobbing cock up in a tight grip and Cooper let out a loud, needy moan. He jerked his hips, sliding through the hot ring of Blake’s fingers. He felt Blake’s other hand on the middle of his back, pushing down. His thighs hurt from the strain, but the pain was exquisite.

“Tell me who you belong to.” Blake’s voice, so feral, so demanding, pinning him more wholly than his cock inside him.

“I’m yours,” Cooper ground out through gritted teeth.

Cooper cried out as Blake slammed into him hard, jolting him forward, making his knees burn as they dragged against the cushion.

“Mine,” Blake said, breathy and possessive. “Say it again.”

“I’m yours. And you’re mine, Blake. You’re mine.”

Their fierce union only lasted a few minutes, but it seemed an agonizing age before Cooper reached orgasm, raw, beyond the boundaries of pleasure, into something he couldn’t name or understand as he spurted hard and thickly over Blake’s hand. While he was still shuddering in release Blake rode him hard and fast, pressing him down against the couch, until Cooper was yowling like an animal.

Then Blake came as well, throbbing and hot inside him, biting into Cooper’s shoulder at the same time and breaking skin. The pain was beautiful mixed with the pleasure, his teeth diving beneath Cooper’s flesh and marking him.

“Blake!” Cooper cried out. “Oh god. Yes, please. Fuck!”

Cooper wanted him to stay inside forever but Blake slid out, both teeth and cock, leaving him wide open and ravished. Cooper slumped against the couch, quivering, trying to catch his breath. He touched his shoulder and winced, sweat stinging in the wound.

“Blake.” He tried to twist around as he felt him crawl off.

“I have to go,” Blake panted. He began yanking up his jeans. “I have to get out of here. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Be careful, please be careful.” Cooper wanted to touch him one last time, but he felt like he’d been stripped to the bone and he couldn’t move. “Come back to me when it’s through, I’ll take care of you.”

“Cooper.” He paused, and Cooper saw the flash of his eyes in the now thick darkness. “I love you.”

Cooper smiled, his already pounding heart beating even faster. “Run, Blake. Don’t be ashamed of it.”

He reached out and ghosted his fingertips across the denim encasing Blake’s thigh, then he was gone, flying away into the night.

Cooper slumped against the couch, the smell of sex engulfing him, the touch of Blake’s power still tingling on his skin. He would stay awake tonight and listen, watch and wait. Nothing would ever hurt his Blake—his mate—ever again. The throbbing in his shoulder assured him they would always be connected.

***

Cooper got his truck and drove to the house. He made it in time for the end of dinner. Everyone was happy to see him.

Adele told him Blake had gone to bed early and Cooper said he’d peek in and say hello to him before he went to bed himself. He spent some time catching up with the other hands, and it was good to be home, even better with the feel of Blake’s hands still on him and the taste of him in his mouth. He didn’t ever want to wash up.

Only one thing made him nervous—he didn’t see Dalton anywhere, and it was unusual for him not to be in Cooper’s business. Even those who had already gone off to the bunkhouse came back in to see him, but Dalton didn’t.

After everyone had gone off to bed, Cooper took his pistol and a blanket and snuck outside. He went to the barn where he’d kept watch the last time and spread his blanket out under the stars. Even though it wasn’t his bed it was much better than his uncle’s couch.

The night was quiet. He dozed, dreaming in the morning Blake would come to him and Cooper would treat his wounds and they would make love again, slow this time, no need to hurry. He awoke sporadically and touched the sore spot on his shoulder. He imagined Blake was watching him from the trees, admiring his mate and waiting for the time to be with him.

He must have finally fallen into a deeper sleep, because he awoke next to the sound of birds twittering and the sky taking on the first hint of morning. The moon had nearly sunk below the horizon.

Cooper sat up. The coolness of the night still lingered. Everything was peaceful. He thought he might get up and have a walk around, but then he saw a low, dark shape slide out of the tree line and lope across the grass toward him.

He resisted the urge to grab his pistol, watching as it came closer; it was definitely Blake’s wolf shape. He wasn’t afraid. Wolf-Blake stopped about fifty yards away and stared at him, yellow eyes gleaming.

“Hi there,” Cooper said softly. “You’re about to change back, aren’t you?”

The animal lowered its snout and nosed in the grass. Cooper smiled. He wanted to go over and pet him, run his fingers through his coat and marvel at the wonder and power of his oversized wolf form, but common sense told him not to. Maybe tomorrow, if he talked to Blake about it and was assured he could control himself if Cooper got too close.

Cooper waited patiently for him to change. He didn’t seem too dinged up this time, so maybe there wouldn’t be much need for nursing and more time for other things.

Something caught Cooper’s eye then, another form sliding out of the tree line. Something bigger.

He held his breath as he watched the shape cross the grass, making a swift line toward Blake. The other wolf, the big white one.

Blake wheeled around, emitting a warning growl. The other wolf responded with an equally menacing sound. Cooper scrambled up, grabbing his pistol. He didn’t know what the thing would do if Blake turned back—it might be startled and run away, or it might be provoked to attack.

“Get out of here!” Cooper said, pointing the gun. “Go on! Get!”

The animal kept advancing. Blake snarled louder. The other wolf bared huge, glistening fangs. The sky was starting to lighten and Cooper panicked.

“Get out of here!” He advanced on the animals. “Go on!”

The white wolf ignored him. It was focused on Blake.

Then something started to happen: like a shimmer on the air, like heat rising off pavement in summer. The distortion passed over Blake’s wolf form and blurred the edges. He was starting to change back.

The other wolf took advantage of the moment and leapt.

Cooper fired. The shot rang through the trees, followed by an agonized yelp. The white wolf crumpled in the grass just as Blake’s naked form appeared, seeming to materialize out of the air.

“Shit!” Cooper ran toward him. The wolf was close by, whining and lolling on the ground. It was still dangerous, even more so now that it was wounded.

“Come on.” Cooper reached Blake and bent down to grab his arm. “I might have just nicked it. If it gets up it’s gonna come after us!”

Blake looked disoriented, and Cooper had to support him as he struggled to his feet. He was sweaty, but not as dirty and bloody as he usually was.

“We’ll get it subdued and caged up,” Cooper huffed as he slung Blake’s arm across his shoulders. “Get animal control out here to make sure it’s not suffering and—”

A sound issued behind them, one Cooper wasn’t expecting. The very human, pained groan of a man.

Cooper turned around, Blake still hanging onto him. He couldn’t have been more surprised by what he saw.

The wolf was gone. In its place, Dalton was stretched out on the grass, naked as Blake, his hand pressed to his side. Blood was seeping out around his fingers.

“What the hell?” Cooper gasped.

Dalton groaned again, trying to roll onto his good side, but he didn’t get far. Cooper gently eased Blake back down on the grass and hurried over to him.

“Dalton!” Cooper said, kneeling next to him. “You’re—oh my God. I shot you!”

Dalton grimaced. “It went clean through, I think.” He groaned. “Gimmie an hour though, it’ll heal. Just need to get it bound up so I don’t bleed out before it seals itself up.”

Cooper hurriedly yanked off his shirt, balled it up, and pressed it against Dalton’s side. Dalton yelped, but grabbed it and held it there. Cooper looked over at Blake. He looked as surprised as Cooper was, despite being half in a daze.

“Dalton,” Cooper said. “You’re just like Blake. You’re—”

“Yeah.” He winced and looked up at the sky. “We gotta get inside before the sun comes up and someone sees us.”

Cooper wasn’t sure what to do. He needed to get Blake inside as well, and he looked uncertainly between the two, trying to decide if he was strong enough to support both their weights. However, Blake started struggling to get up.

“I’ll be okay,” he grunted as he heaved himself to his feet. “I’m not hurt. Just get him to the barn.”

Cooper managed to—very delicately—get Dalton on his feet and walked him to the barn. Blake grabbed the blanket and brought it inside with them, weaving and unsteady, but looking a hell of a lot better than Dalton did. Blake put the blanket down on the floor and Cooper eased Dalton down onto it.

“You sure you’re gonna be all right?” Cooper asked.

“Yeah.” He was breathing hard in the darkness. “We get stronger the longer we have this. Heal faster. It won’t take long.”

“Better get a light,” Blake said. “Make sure he ain’t bleeding to death, in any case.”

Cooper felt his way along the barn wall, looking for the door to the utility closet where he knew there were some flashlights and lanterns. He found the door, slid inside, and felt around. He swore as he knocked things over, still anxious and discombobulated. He finally found a flashlight and grabbed it up.

When he returned to the other two, Blake was sitting on the blanket and Cooper’s shirt against Dalton’s side was soaked through with blood. However, when Cooper pulled it away to examine the wound, he could see it was already closed up and the bleeding had stopped.

“I think I’ll be all right,” Dalton said. “Just need a little more time.”

Cooper looked at Blake. Sweat glistened on his face in the light from the flashlight, his eyes dark and gleaming. He held Cooper’s gaze for a moment, and then looked down at Dalton. Cooper realized the absurdity of the situation, sitting with two naked men and him being shirtless. He was glad no one could see them, because plenty of assumptions could be made. However, the truth was a hell of a lot more outrageous.

“I think you got some explaining to do,” Cooper said to Dalton.

Dalton chuckled, still sounding a little pained. “I suppose I do. And I will, as soon as the bullet hole in my side heals up.”

CHAPTER FIVE

The morning was warm but not scorching, a steady breeze blowing, signaling it would be a much more pleasant day in the field than normal. The three of them—Blake, Dalton, and Cooper—went out on the side porch after breakfast. They hadn’t been able to talk much and this was their first opportunity to go off alone since the barn that morning. Blake and Dalton looked no worse for wear, a little tired, but Cooper was too. They were all cleaned up and dressed for the day, and no one could tell by looking at them anything had happened.

“So,” Blake said, sitting in a chair across from Dalton, who sat on the railing. Cooper stood between them, sipping from a mug of coffee. “You—you’re just like me?” Blake asked.

“I am,” Dalton said. “Exactly like you.”

Cooper had a million questions. He was sure Blake had even more, so he would try to let him do the asking.

“How long have you been like this?” Blake asked.

“Since I was fourteen,” Dalton said. “Got bitten during a hunting trip with my older brother. I tried to hide it for a while, but most my family knows now. That’s why I stay away from home, went to work on a ranch. I don’t want to hurt them.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Blake asked. “If you knew I was one too, why didn’t you say something?”

Dalton looked down at his own coffee mug. “It’s complicated. See, I been following you. That’s why I came here last winter. I lost track of you for a while, then I figured out where you were and I came here to get a job.”

“Following me?” Blake asked. “Why have you been following me? How do you know me?”

Dalton looked up. His expression was tense, as if he needed to say something he wasn’t sure how to spit out.

“I’m the one who bit you, Blake. The one who turned you into what you are.”

Blake stared at him, eyes widening, his look of shock mirroring the sensation in Cooper’s gut.

“You bit him?” Cooper asked, bristling.

“I had to,” Dalton said. “When I came on you that night in the snow Blake, after the wreck, you were dying. It was the only way to save you. This thing that controls me when I’m in my wolf form, it took over. It was pure instinct. There’s always that urge to make another, that’s how it spreads.”

Blake was silent, as if he were trying to process it, then he said, “And my Dad…”

“He was already dead.” Dalton sounded guilty. “Otherwise, I would have bit him too.”

“So by biting me…”

“You know what this thing does. You heal right up from your wounds. It took longer then because you were new, but you healed faster than you would have.”

Blake looked down, brow furrowed. Cooper put a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t understand any of this,” Blake said.

“It ain’t too hard, once you figure it out,” Dalton said. “You’re hard to kill with this power in you. You probably noticed, even small wounds, like cuts and stuff, they heal up real fast. And they’ll heal faster as time goes on. The only way to kill you is in the wolf form, if you get wounded and you’re too long from changing back. Ironic, I always thought, when you’re the wolf you’re the most vulnerable you’ll ever be, ever again.”

“How do you know all this stuff?” Cooper asked.

Dalton looked at him. “There’s a woman, in Ennis. Her son is one and she’s been studying it for years, trying to find out where it came from. Her son’s up north now on a ranch, but she’s still seeking out people who have it. She’s trying to find a cure.”

Cooper looked down at Blake. Blake looked up at him and Cooper was glad to see the sudden light of hope in his eyes.

“I saved your life the only way I could, Blake,” Dalton said. “I’m sorry I had to curse you at the same time. But maybe if we start helping each other, we can find a way to make this more bearable.”

“You should have talked to me before now,” Blake said.

“I know. But I wasn’t sure how you’d take it, once you found out it was me who did this to you.”

Blake looked down again. Cooper could tell he was struggling with mixed emotions. Cooper was too, feeling both hope for Blake and anger at Dalton he had done this, however well-meaning. He squeezed Blake’s shoulder tighter.

“All you two do is tangle up when you’re in wolf form,” Cooper said to Dalton. “You need to stop fighting. If you really want to help him, you have to start staying the hell away from each other during the change.”

“It’s the beast,” Dalton said. “It takes over, makes you aggressive. It’s hard to think like a human when you’re in that form but—the woman in Ennis, she says it can be done. She says her son taught himself how to think more human when he’s the wolf.”

Blake looked up.

“There’s hope, Blake,” Dalton said. “There really is. And maybe if we talk to her, she can learn more, and find that cure she’s looking for. That cure for us.”

Blake looked at Cooper again. Cooper gave him an encouraging nod.

“This is a lot to process right now,” Blake said.

“You’re telling me,” Cooper muttered and lifted his cup.

“It’s good you got a friend like Coop though,” Dalton said. “I isolated myself at first, from my family and everyone else. I was afraid for them. It’s hard enough to deal with this, never mind being alone the whole time.”

“Yeah, he’s been a good friend.” Blake’s tone was gentle.

“You ought to consider telling your family,” Dalton said. “They might not believe you at first, but they’ll have to when you change. Maybe they can find a way to protect you and themselves during the change.”

“I don’t know I could put that on my Grandpa and Grandma,” Blake said. “It might be too heavy for them.”

“They might be stronger than you think.”

Blake sighed, staring down at his hands clasped between his knees. They were all silent for a minute, and then Blake lifted his head again and nodded.

“You might be right. But I need to think about it for a while.”

“Whatever you decide,” Cooper told him, “I’ll be there by your side.” He squeezed his shoulder again and looked over at Dalton. “Thank you. For showing him he’s not alone.”

Dalton smiled. He wasn’t such a bad kid after all.

A bit later, Cooper and Blake walked out to the field to start the haying. They were alone and Cooper had to resist the urge to reach out and take his hand. The burden felt a little lighter now, but he knew things would still be difficult.

“Well, that was some news, huh?” Cooper finally asked, after they’d been walking in silence for a few minutes. He could practically hear the thoughts churning in Blake’s head.

“Good news,” Blake said. “Best news I’ve had in a while, actually. All things considered.”

Cooper squinted at him under the brim of his hat. Blake looked back at him.

“About last night,” Cooper said. “And I don’t mean the change…”

Blake came to a stop and Cooper stopped beside him. They turned and faced each other, looking into each other’s eyes.

“I’m sorry I put you out,” Blake said. “I’m sorry I was ungrateful. You’ve been the best friend I could ask for.”

Cooper glanced away, and then looked back at him. “I know you were just trying to protect me. Doing the only thing you thought you could do.”

“I was an idiot, though. You were the only one who knew—or I thought so—and I should have trusted you were smart enough to protect yourself.”

“This is a crazy situation, Blake. You don’t have to apologize for not knowing how to handle it.”

Blake was quiet a moment, just gazing at him with a little smile tugging at his lips. Cooper wanted to kiss them until he smiled even wider.

“Well, I’m sorry anyway,” Blake said. “But not for everything.”

Cooper felt heat crawling up his neck, not from the morning sun, but from inside.

“That’s good to hear,” Cooper said, his own mouth widening in a grin. He rubbed the sore spot on his shoulder. “I take it this was your way of saying I belong to you. And I don’t have one problem with that.”

Blake’s expression fell. “I’m glad I did that before I changed, so I didn’t pass it on.”

Cooper stepped in and grabbed his shirt. He tugged him closer. “Blake, I’d take even that, if it meant being with you.”

“Don’t say things like that. I want to protect you from this thing.”

“I want to protect you from it too. In the future, please just let me.”

Blake leaned in, pushing up the brim of Cooper’s hat, and kissed him. Cooper closed his eyes and smiled against his lips, then opened his mouth to taste Blake’s tongue; it was the best thing he’d tasted since last night, when Blake’s mouth had crushed against his in each searing, possessive kiss.

When Blake drew away, Cooper still held onto his shirt. He didn’t care if anyone saw them. If they didn’t all know they belonged to each other by now, they soon would.

“We got haying to do,” Blake said, grabbing Cooper’s hand. Cooper let go of him, but Blake held it in a tight grasp. “It’s been a rough week without you.”

Cooper chuckled. “Hard to operate without your best man?”

Blake smiled, the sun glittering in his eyes. “Yes, it is.”

They walked toward the field, the sun shining down bright and golden. Tonight, things would get dangerous again, but maybe they’d be a little less rough. No matter, Cooper intended to be right there by Blake’s side for all of it, beast or man.

 

THE END